Love yourself first. You may be thinking, wow how selfish. No, not at all selfish.
This statement can lead you into a deep dive reflecting about your relationship with yourself. It can lead to uncomfortable truths that you have been denying for weeks, months, or years.
There are things that everyone absolutely dislikes about themselves. For example, you may dislike your hair because it is too curly and thick. Well, the person next to you is not too fond of their hair because it is too thin and they refer to it as ‘lifeless.’ My point, do not be too hard on yourself.
Approaching less than ideal topics about yourself, can be a mine-field. Why? Because there is a chance you can blow up. There is a chance that you can take things way out of context and proportion.
Starting to navigate the initial, dipping the toes into the water scenario, can take some time. This is not a race. The fact that you have thought about reflecting about yourself, to know yourself better, takes guts. I am not saying that you should be dipping your toes in the rest of your life, that would get old.
Once you get over the temperature of the thought, start easing into it. You are going to feel very uncomfortable. Especially if you are a person who is not into feeling their emotions. Life tip: keeping your emotions turned off feels okay for a little bit, but once you open up and let yourself feel, a whole new perspective can develop.
You are about waist deep into the pool of, “what the heck is wrong with me?” Well, let’s just reflect a bit on that. What characteristics are you seeing about yourself that are throwing you red flags? Why are they red flags? If you are not seeing anything that can be improved about yourself, check your ego at the door.
Once you are completely submerged evaluating yourself, things can get dicey. I am not talking about self-diagnosing yourself on the Internet. That leads to more problems.
Everyone can react in different ways once you start fully evaluating your life. You may become angry at yourself. You may feel like you have been allowing a fear, or allowing someone to hold you back. It is important to act rational about whatever you find about yourself that needs a little improvement.
Impulse may want to take over. You may just want a quick fix and then expect to feel better. I am not saying that there are not quick-fix scenarios. Usually though, there is some sort of reflection period before, during, or after that makes it not a quick-fix scenario.
Once you find the aspects of yourself that you think need some polishing, write them down. Make a list somewhere. If you are more visionary, make a board. I used the excuse for a long time about how it is all in my head, and I did not need a list or board for reference. It took me a lot longer to actually muster the courage to take a leap of chance without some sort of guide. I eventually wrote them down and made a board, which now, I follow.
Creating some sort of visual representation of whatever you want to improve on, allows yourself to see those hopeful improvements every day. Put it in a spot where you can allow yourself to view those items. If you have to walk by it and read it, or view it, every day- chances are you will stop making excuses for yourself and complete them.
If you decide to start the process of loving yourself first, intend to actually complete it. Why I say this? Letting yourself down is one of the worst feelings. I have felt this, and it is very unpleasant. The positive, I am now nurturing everything that I want to improve on. I have never felt more awakened and in-tune with myself than I do now. That is why I want to share the message of loving yourself.
Loving yourself first will make you feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, and sometimes sad. However, the good feelings that come from self-improvement are some of the best feelings I have felt. Your biggest cheerleader, is yourself.
There is always something that can be improved upon. Bettering yourself is an absolute necessity. Bettering yourself is loving yourself.
Originally Written: 8/17/2029
Danae Decker 