Dating

The thing about being a blogger is that the people who are in your life, that really know you, think that everything you write is an emotional vent fest pertaining to your own life. It is not.

I am not denying that I do not include stories or lessons from my own life experiences. I am a story-teller, and what better way to tell a story then one that I have went through? I enjoy writing about situations that make people wonder about their own lives. Hopefully, some of the things I write about are relatable.  

I enjoy reading other blogs on one specific site. I read their trending headlines and read a few of the articles that I feel pertain to my life in that moment. I laugh at how spot on some of the articles I read are. There is one particular topic that I read about more than I write about. What could that be? L.o.v.e.

This word is tricky to me as a person and as a writer. I absolutely know I would kill it writing about this topic. But, I avoid writing about it because it feels awkward opening up that set of potential stories in my life. Mostly, the privacy of the men I have been in relationships with.

So, how do I find a balance? Finding this balance is a goal. I know that I can not be the only person out there that struggles with little frustrations of dating and relationships.

I say frustrations that refer to my own set of challenges when approaching the subject. So, I have went through the dating ringer for months. I have learned a lot. However, I reached a point of just being tired.

Not tired of the men I was meeting, just tired. I married young. I was barely 20… crazy right? I went through a divorce at 24. I do not regret any of it; but the one thing I did not have experience in- dating as an adult.

Early on, I was so… unsure. I am a fairly confident person- but I only knew how to act as a wife would. To even say that I was a wife once, feels foreign. I know that I was way too much of an over sharer. But, I learned.

If there is one thing that I have taken away from the dating scene, it would be that I have grown a lot as a person. Not in a way that I need validation from a man. I have grown my confidence and what I think I am on the search for.  

It has helped me ask hard questions. Spot the bullshit quicker. Be 100% honest and completely myself. I am not the type of woman to order a salad on a first date because I am embarrassed to eat in front of a guy. Cool if you do that, but order what you actually want.

Anyway, I reached a point. I reached a point that I was just tired. I am a busy person. Full-time job, working on an MBA right now too. So, having to reintroduce myself over-and-over again seemed like it would just continue taking and not giving back. New life motto at least for the current moment: “Gave up dating, joined a gym instead.”

I laughed when I thought that thought. But, it is so true. I personally am not opposed to meeting the right man. I just realized I needed to start focusing on my self again for a bit. I needed to step outside of the dating game and take a breather.

The ironic thing about my life: as a high schooler, I had this dream that I would become this successful business woman. I would not marry until I was at least 26. I would build myself up, and crush what I wanted to do.

Well, high school me- you won. I am on the track that me 10+ years ago decided for myself. I still wonder what direction I am heading in- but there is one thing I am certain of- I most likely will not be regretting doing whatever the f*** I want.

If you are a person who feels stuck, frustrated with dating. I get you. I get the frustration you feel when you meet someone you really like, and it doesn’t work out for whatever reason. The frustration of reintroducing yourself, showing your pictures from your phone, trying to remember the names of the important people in the guy’s life you are seeing.

The sad, frustrating moment you know you have to throw in the towel because deep down, it just won’t work for you at that moment.

Move forward with intention for your life. Work on building yourself a beautiful life. When you are ready to jump back into the game-know your worth and do not settle for less.

Please purchase my book: Life in Katie’s Shoes: Decker, Danae: 9798688190472: Amazon.com: Books