An Emotional Abuser

We all have skeletons in our closets. Things we aren’t proud of, or too embarrassed to tell.

We curl up at night and replay those situations that feel like demons looming over our beds. The fear returns for a brief moment because at that time, our emotions were beaten down like a hammer hits a tent stake- that won’t go into the hard ground.

Our minds remember the illogical actions of our abuser. They remember the words that are spat at us usually in a harsh or conniving tone.

We remember our minds trying to figure out what we did wrong and how we can make this situation better. We feel like the failure because we are told that we are the ones that are failing at the feet of our abuser.

Our hearts are aching because most emotional abusers are the ones who are supposed to love us and are the ones we are supposed to love. Yet- we feel conflicted because this isn’t love. Or at least it doesn’t feel like it. The love we get feels like a hand of cards that are already a losing hand in our shaking fingers. We hope it’s good enough to win- yet, once we put them down, it’s easy to see that we’re losing.

Perhaps sometimes it’s not as easy to see. Emotional abusers chip away at you like a sculptor would at raw clay. Except the difference is that they aren’t creating something beautiful. They are destroying the layers of you that are already there and are defined.

Emotional abusers don’t want you to shine. They want you to second guess yourself almost all of the time. They want you to ask what is wrong with yourself instead of asking what is wrong with them.

Their confidence is dangerously low. It’s comparable to a gas light being switched on thirty miles too far down the road.

Loving someone, no matter who they are should feel like a light summer shower with a double rainbow overhead. It shouldn’t feel like a deer getting caught, struggling in a barbed wire fence.

Loving someone should feel easy, yet this person makes it’s complicated. Easily makes you feel defeated. You become the deer struggling in the fence. You once resembled something so free and innocent, yet you’ve hit an obstacle that has its barbs in you.

An emotional abuser is that barbed wire fence. At times, you feel so caught and entangled. You feel so deep into the situation that it’s easy to just give up and give in.

When they say those harsh words, withhold love, or show their true colors- fight back. You have a voice and you are capable of a better path.

They aren’t the best you’re going to get because why be unhappy with people who harm you? It doesn’t matter if they are blood or if you signed a marriage decree. Don’t use God as an excuse for staying with someone who abuses your self-worth.

The saying, “you have one life to live,” is a popular one. It’s true, you have one life to live, so why allow others to harm you when your time is more precious than their low self-esteem.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Thank you to my subscribers for being interested in what I have to say. Every time I get notified that someone else has signed up- it makes my heart happy.

Feel free to purchase my book, “Life in Katie’s Shoes,” on Amazon. I’ve gotten incredible feedback on it so far- but would like its message to grow and continue to touch lives.