I started playing the what-if game when I was young. It began as a fun way to see different outcomes in the situation I was in. Then- I grew up.
Growing up can put a damper on the what-if game. You find yourself older. Sometimes you feel down about something or feel like a failure to where you start playing out scenarios in your head. These scenarios are usually blown out of proportion. Sound familiar?
Just because I grew up, does not mean I have stopped picturing outcomes and plot lines in my head. And- it does not mean you should not either.
Ways to not use the ‘What-if Game:
- Using it to make yourself feel like the person you like has a crush on you too. I state this because it can be confusing and really pulls you away from goals that could actually happen. Chances are, if they didn’t make you a priority- or ditched you for someone or something shinier… it is probably a good indicator that they are not worth your time. Leave the high school drama-type relationships in the past. You are an adult. Expect better from those you want to date.
- Comparing yourself to others. Just stop this. Everyone has their own value adds that they contribute to the world. If you have to compare yourself to others- chances are that you need to dig a little deeper to find what your gifts are. Make yourself vulnerable to the possibilities.
- When something tragic happens. It is very common to play the “what would it be like if they were here,” after someone passes. It is a normal part of grieving to feel this way. Believe me, I have done it myself. But, what I have learned in the years to come is that it makes you sad to think that way. So personally, I have chosen to accept that this is the way life is and I continue to be grateful for the time spent when they were alive. Sure, I have the moments where I have thought, I would’ve done this differently when they were alive. I am not going to let that eat me alive and stop my life moving forward. Acknowledge the pain in the past and leave it there. You have a future that needs you at your best!
- When you feel at your lowest. The don’ts of this one is simple. If you are depressed or upset about something, do not use this game of what could be- and use it against yourself. Instead, think of the positive that could happen if you just start thinking a little brighter.
I personally enjoy when my head is in the clouds and I am visualizing everything that could happen. The key to remember when playing this game… Do not let the clouds pull you up to where you lose sight of the present.
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Danae Decker 