You are walking down the street and you notice the same person, having the same types of outbursts to strangers on the street. You do not know them, but you do.
You have had multiple conversations with them about a vast array of topics. Topics cover anything from the weather to political stances.
Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I do believe this. As long as it is not physically or mentally meant to tear someone else down in an aggressive/harmful way. If someone intends to harm others, they are just a terrible person.
Anyway, you stand there and think, “this person yells the same things, this person ticks a lot of people off on a daily basis. Is there validity in the message they are saying? Validity in the conversations they are having?
-Or-
Have they lost their mind?
I think as a whole for the sanity of the human race, it is important to try and see a perspective from another’s viewpoint. As long as they are adept at having a decent conversation where you both come out of the conversation with at least one new thought.
What happens if they are only having one-sided conversations? What happens if it turns out that they seem a bit looney?
Do you begin to pity them because they do not see the world as you do? In your opinion, they clearly do not see the other side of what the conversation can be.
I have run into this situation multiple times within my own life. People who are either too hard-headed or obviously cannot handle the truths/lies another perspective would bring. Or, they are misunderstood in some ways.
For example, I was at my favorite thrift store. A gentleman talking ninety miles a second asked me if he could place his items on the bottom of my cart. I informed him that the cart was not mine and started to walk away. I was getting a weirded-out vibe honestly.
He kept saying, “This is why women and men cannot get along.” I heard him, but I turned my back and started to walk away. Then- I noticed this young woman who could not have been older than nineteen. If she were, kudos to her youthful look.
Anyway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed him asking her, but she was speechless. He kept saying random things over and over. Then, started placing his things on the bottom of the cart tray. That is when I stepped in. First, he did ask if I was her mother. I do not look that old… ouch.
I told the gentleman to remove his items from the woman’s cart. He said something about his stuff, and I informed him that there was a shelf nearby he could place them on. He listened to me, and that is when I took the cart and steered the woman down the aisle.
He kept blurting stuff too quick for me to hear everything. The only two things I heard was, “This is why women and men do not get along,” and “I have severe ADHD.”
In that moment, I internally recognized that he might have issues with how he communicates. However, my intention was to steer the woman who was obviously fearful in that moment, to safety.
The only words I told her, “Just keep moving,” and “My name is Danae.” She mentioned that she did not know what to say in that moment, then scurried off.
I am not going to lie, I did think after that that perhaps this gentleman has been having conversations like this his entire life. Conversations that made people believe he was an insane person. I admit, I pre-judged and thought, “this guy is on something.” Maybe he was, maybe not.
Maybe he just has a really hard time communicating like a ‘normal,’ person via society standards. Maybe, I got that woman out of a potential kidnapping attempt.
The take-away from this story: consider the angle. If you clearly feel uncomfortable being around a person, listen to your instinct and leave. However, if they seem to be harmless- entertain a minute conversation. You could gain new knowledge. The first thing you need to think of is your safety though.
I recently read “What Unites Us,” by Dan Rather and Elliot Kirschner. This book held many valuable reflections within its spine.
When I closed the book after reading the last page, I reflected on what I had read for a bit. I try and have at least one sound opinion after reading a book. For this book, I really enjoyed the depth of the book.
I enjoyed how it visited stories that held conversations from people of all backgrounds. The common denominator, unity.
Considering when you start pitying someone. Think about another word instead, what subjects can unite the conversation? What can make a person who you seem to know nothing about- make them seem human?
Pity is a deep human feeling. Feel the feeling, and then try to find the connection. Connection makes us a stronger group of people. Find your own version of what unites us.
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Danae Decker 