Therapy is a reset button. Someone that asks thought-provoking questions. Someone that knows boundaries but then asks the question that makes tears start welling up in your eyes, then stream down your cheeks.
That is where the release happens. Crying.
Therapy does not mean you are a weak person. It means that you are willing to sit there and actively open up to someone with your feelings. It means you are digging into your soul and pulling out the hurt like you would the guts of a pumpkin you are carving.
It means that you are willing to be vulnerable with yourself even if you do not know what is going to happen in the next ten minutes of a session. You have to sit and you have to reflect.
You have to navigate the murky waters of your past and feel the emotions of past hurt. Because your bones may forgive, but they never seem to forget. Forget the feeling of the rug being pulled out from under you.
Your bones will never forget how quickly you built that wall to keep out the pain. Your mind and heart remember that even though you half-a**ed making the first wall. The second and the third are better built, with grenades at each door. The pin barely in place for it to not immediately go off.
But then, you start to dethaw. Whatever life situation made you feel ugly, made you feel small- it is no match for the resilience you built by hiding behind each wall. You know though, you must start chiseling away at them in order to move on.
So, you sit in front of someone who only knows what you’ve told them. Someone who sits there and nods their head, scratches notes down with their pen. Someone who may offer you a tissue, or a glass of water.
You feel a bit exposed, naked to the eye. You emptied your heart for an hour of your time, to only get off the call and still feel somewhat heavy because your past thoughts are still lingering. You try and let all go- but sometimes you have to sit with your feelings.
You do start seeing a pattern. You start getting more answers for the problems wearing you down. You start laughing during therapy because you realize how f*cked up things actually were with your situation and realize all is calm. All is brighter.
You start cleaning house internally and externally in your life. You realize that you have actually come a long way and letting things drag you down, will not do you any good.
Therapy is not for the faint of heart. It is for the hearts looking to mend themselves, looking to get stronger, adding another notch in their warrior belt.
* Note from Danae: Have you dealt with divorce or addiction in some capacity, and still need something to relate to, and work through your feelings? I welcome you to consider reading my book, “Life in Katie’s Shoes.”
Danae Decker 