Who else has been told their entire lives that they ‘need to stop overthinking?’ I’ve come to dislike the term, overthinking.
Overthinking typically means that someone is over-analyzing something. Have you ever thought that telling someone to “stop overthinking” comes across as ill-mannered?
After some reflection, I’m throwing the word ‘overthinking’ into the garbage. Here’s why:
1.) If you tell a kid that they’re thinking too much, aren’t you telling them to dumb themselves down? When they are trying to process their thoughts concerning something, shouldn’t they be rewarded for using their problem-solving skills?
2.) If someone is continuously told to stop analyzing situations, how does that make you look as that person’s encourager? You are telling that person that you don’t care to hear their multiple thoughts on something. You are discouraging a safe environment for a person to be vulnerable with you. When someone is openly analyzing something around you, it means they are comfortable around you. So STAHP it. Stop shutting people down when they are trying to find a solution. Everyone has a different process when it comes to processing.
3.) It shuts down the possibility for a potentially good conversation. By allowing someone to open up and look at a situation or problem from all sides, it allows you to reflect on your own processes of evaluation. Plus, you get to witness how someone else handles their issues. Again, not everyone will process things like you do. So, respect that.
Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes we can get stuck in our heads. Sometimes we can’t seem to find a way through the problem we are evaluating. Or, we may have been conditioned our entire lives to be hard on ourselves, when we need a little extra time thinking something over.
Regardless, think for a quick moment before you word vomit ‘overthinking’ to someone. Are you doing more damage than good? Are you actually doing any good for yourself or the person you are wanting to say it to?
If you are just bored of discussing something, or trying to get out of the conversation- tell them. Explain that while you respect their thought process, you cannot mentally handle it in the moment. If someone gets upset, then that is a whole other issue in entire. But, if someone is actually trying to solve a joint problem with you, you need to respect it, hear them out, and respond accordingly.
But, you are probably a grown adult. Don’t let me tell you how to communicate with others. But then again, you are an adult. It is time you learn good communication skills.
Be kind to others.
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Danae Decker 