Our lives deliver us people that unfortunately, it just doesn’t work out the way we wish it did with them. The conversations we can’t have means that someone is either no longer in our lives for any particular reason.
There are folks that walk out of your life, leaving you with little to no explanation. You feel like you are bursting at the seams because there is still so much you would like to say to them. You want communication to be there, but they’ve turned their back. Someone you once shared so much with on a professional or personal basis, just drops you quicker than a snap of the fingers.
And then….
The people that you have to cut all ties with because they’re hurting you for some reason. You want to sit them down and make them listen to how they hurt you, and find a resolution to the issue you are facing. But, you know that you physically and mentally can’t because you have to cut them out. You’re giving too much with no take.
Either that, or you have tried, and they keep pushing your buttons or ignoring the boundaries you have set. Because people like this are all take and no give. Sometimes it is just easier just saying goodbye rather than hanging around to keep explaining yourself.
Lastly….
There are the people who leave us too soon- and words that were planned to be said- are only conversations had within your mind. You sit there and play the what-if game but you find yourself becoming more and more frustrated because darn it- if only that conversation was had- things would’ve been, could’ve been different.
The reality is, conversations that are missed opportunities when someone passes, are just that- a missed opportunity. No matter how we feel about a particular situation, the conversation will never happen. Accepting this fate will be difficult, but is important to move on within life.
Here’s the cold hard truth: conversations that were not had are that way for a reason. Even if sometimes that reason can go light itself on fire, and throw itself in a dumpster.
When people walk away from you without explanation or a logical one, let them. Let them walk away from what you provided them as a person in their life. You only have time to focus on those that also focus on you.
When people use you over and over- cut them out. If you state your intentions and boundaries as a person in their life, and it’s not respected- “bye.” People like this can make you feel like you’re a really good person for caring. But remember, you aren’t a savior and can’t save everyone. Save yourself and jump ship.
Lighten up on yourself and learn to forgive yourself for the conversations you wished you could have had with someone that is now gone.
Conversations that we wished we could have had are more than feeling we have missed out on something. They are periods of reflection that are given to us to think things through, so we may do things differently, or simply just grow as a person.
Take it easy. Rest easy. Be kind to yourself.
Danae Decker 