I recently heard the song “Enough for You,” by Olivia Rodrigo. It’s a beautiful song that I feel speaks to me. But, to an old me.
I remember when I listened to sad breakup songs the most out of the genres on rotation for me. I think listening to those types of songs helps us not feel alone in sensitive times. Sensitive times when we are feeling angry, upset, confused.
But then something beautiful happens…
I absolutely love the lyrics of that song. But, how I can relate to it, is in the past. This song reminded me of my present. It reminded me that I have found a love that is still growing everyday- myself. Loving yourself first, is priority.
It is an extra bonus when you find a love with someone who looks at you in a way you have not been looked at before.
The habits I want to speak of are those that link you to some sort of tragedy. It’s easy to walk around with a somber expression when something sad happens. Something that changes the way we operate in our lives.
I’m of the mindset that sharing your experiences with others is a positive thing that shouldn’t be shied away from.
Personally, if someone is experiencing something I’ve gone through in a similar context- I’m going to share it even if it brings me back.
But, toxic habits of past hurts aren’t allowed to linger. I say this as an affirmation. I have spent years being dipped in drama or hurt in different ways. So, deciding that habits (people-pleasing, being too giving, inserting myself, excessive problem solving for other people, and the list can go on…) aren’t allowed in my life now.
I’ve learned as I continually evolve into my current self; improvement doesn’t happen when you claim it is happening but you let certain old habits stay.
I read the book “Educated” by Tara Westover, recently. Amazing story of resilience. Towards the end of the book, it was spoken of what family had not essentially disowned her- I teared up because she spoke of not understanding why she was disowned, in the book. At least that is my perspective. She spoke of people-pleasing and trying to get in their good graces.
I’ve been ‘disowned’ by a few family members. To this day, I’m not entirely sure why. It used to bother me more than it does now. I’ve turned the situation to a positive one. I am not obligated to be an uglier version of myself to be in their praises. I have loads of family that love me and encourage me. It’s sad to lose a link to a certain part of your family, but sometimes that’s just the way it is.
Picture a snake shedding its skin. Be that snake. Shed your old habits so many times that you’re too unbelievably light-hearted and warm. I know, I know snakes aren’t warm. Be warm in the sense where you smile more and worry less. You laugh more than you cry or you cry while you laugh.
Drop what is weighing you down. Learn new habits that help you work towards a better version of yourself.
Say goodbye to habits that don’t serve the inner light in you.
Danae Decker 