Oh, hi there

Oh, hi there.

I have been MIA from this blog for 9 months. I have not stopped writing but rather have just been busy and yeah. Life man.

I think I have mentioned that I started a master’s program. I am 6 months away, and 2 ½ classes from walking across that stage.

I am tired. Rather, I have just been in a perpetual state of tiredness.

I have had a lot of thoughts since February of 2025. Lots of thoughts about a lot of things. Gosh, I will stop rambling and get to it. Don’t mind me, had an allergic reaction to my allergy shots today and feeling a bit sluggish.

Alright.

I am about 36,000 words written in my psychological thriller. I have been writing it for about a year and 2 months. At this length, I would consider myself close to halfway ‘done.’ If writing a book, you are ever ‘just done’ with it.

It has a lead character that you don’t know if you like or hate them. Hate them because they sound so mental. Or love them because of the circumstances they’ve been put through.

Think on that. What constitutes a level of accountability for a person? We all know, (or should be working towards this understanding) that people other than ourselves are not ours to control. People will be peopling and sometimes, you just have to let them walk themselves into that pointy cactus. I tried to catch a cactus once. Horrible idea. I hate cactuses.

Raise your hand if you’ve cried this year. *Raises hand

I think there have been a lot of negatives going on. I have had to shut out social media and adopt a more analog lifestyle. I have carved hours off of my phone use time for the week.

Ordered the newspaper, in paper edition. *gasp. Order it. Support journalism.

I have also had to come to some hard realizations. I get it. Well, trying to. No one will ever see me as I see myself. Sometimes explaining yourself repeatedly; trying to get a person to see you for who you truly are, just never wins. Being uncomfortable knowing that you tried, but they fail to see, feels unsettling.

Especially if you are a result driven, solutioned focused person, like me. But, you know what? Take a look around. Ponder the idea of society.

This has been another fascination of mine recently. All of our laws, our processes, just made up. One day, some person thought, “Hey, Imma make people stop right here. And I am going to make them wait exactly three minutes while other traffic may or may not be going in the opposite direction.”

Or rather, “I am going to draw little white lines in an already too big, paved lot and make people park in them. I am going to care that they follow this man made law, but not hold myself accountable for the fact that I just paved over some burrowing animal’s home.”

I sound like a lunatic.

But really?

I think the biggest contribution you can do for yourself is to ASK QUESTIONS. ASK WHY. QUESTION EVERYTHING.

If you don’t, sign the AI robot up to do it.

Kidding. Sort of. Anyway, don’t sit there if something feels wrong or uncomfortable.

A few months back, I was in an elevator with an older guy, and a middle-aged woman. This dude straight up says to the both of us, “Aw come on, it can be worse.” Insinuating that both of us should stand in that elevator and smile at each other. Complete strangers. Like bro.

Anyway, he caught me on a day where I just don’t put up with that type of nonsense. So, I said “You know, I have learned that I don’t need to smile all of the time.”

To which he said, “That is fair.” I don’t think he thought either of us would speak up. Later in that day, I thought of other things I could have told him. That always happens.

I guess the point of this blog is to somewhat regain my soul and write to make my heart happy. To free my mind, make myself laugh.

I have been doing a lot of academic reading lately. A lot of academic writing. While it is fine and interesting in it’s own right; I have reached conclusions in my time of study. Here is a bulleted list.

• Just shut up and listen
• All processes are man-made and there is a likely chance someone just said something once, and that is how it should be. Don’t be afraid to change it, to challenge it.  
• Understand that people aren’t robots. Some people need time to process change
• You probably won’t make a point speaking over someone or trying to make them look bad.
• It could have been an email.
• There are a lot of theories about a lot of things. Read about ones that challenge your perspective.

And lastly,

Enjoy your life. Take it serious. But not too serious. You are probably like, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. Idk. Remember that part where I said you can’t control people? Well, figure it out.