As the world changes its seasons, so do our inner thoughts and feelings.
I recently heard a song from Clara Mae titled “Not Sad Anymore.” Recently meaning, I came across it randomly on YouTube- today. I am glad I did. It gave me perspective on how my past worries seem so small compared to where I am at today.
Of course, they were not small when I was climbing the mountain, but I summited, and that is what needs to be remembered. The feeling of glorious triumph as I reached the top. The feeling of metaphorically throwing your problems, negative thoughts, feelings that bring harm to you off of the mountain. Why? Because they were only weighing you down.
The top may only be the halfway point when you are climbing a mountain, but it is the fact that even though when things got hard, you kept moving. You felt the anticipation that life is not meant to stand still. It would have moments as beautiful as the sunrise over the mountain range.
While I closed my eyes and nodded along to the song, I reflected as the lyrics seemingly lulled me into a slight smile upon my face. I pictured my past self in some of the situations she sang about.
Most of those situations brought back a dull ache for a moment, but again, I kept smiling as they filtered through my mind. I kept smiling because I was not there anymore, I am here. I am here in the present. And in the present- I am doing just fine. Better than fine, I am moving forward. I am bettering my life and filling it with the people and things I love.
My favorite lines of the song are, “Now I can’t seem to remember being broken,” and “I’m just making sure I won’t forget the moment, when I’m not sad anymore.”
Now of course, it may be obvious that this is a song that is about overcoming a break-up. But most importantly, it seems to be a song about the triumph of feeling more like your self after said break-up.
“Now I can’t seem to remember being broken.” This line is gold.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself. There have been times in my own life where I have felt so stepped on from a situation- I wondered if I would work again. I felt broken. Compare myself to a kid’s toy car in this situation. Except, I am a toy car that the batteries are starting to die and it only works halfway and inconsistently.
Often times, I felt like the car above and wondered what would happen if my battery was at full charge. Could I love another person? Could I show up for someone? Could I be a better friend or family member? Could I look in the mirror and love myself again?
We get so caught up in the broken side of ourselves that we forget that at one time, we felt whole. We were not always broken.
I have had moments to myself where past Danae wanted to make an appearance. But, those past Danae moments were often someone who was beaten down (metaphorically) by life. So- she is not in a healthy spot to be giving myself advice on how to act. She can give my present self the insight on what life was like in those past moments of ‘broke-ness.’
“I’m just making sure I won’t forget the moment, when I’m not sad anymore.” Again, gold.
I have listened to the song multiple times today. What this line tells me, “I am finally happy and I do not want to let go and I always want to remember this feeling.”
I love having moments of simple bliss. I had a moment of standing out in the sun the other day on a beautiful day. The sun hit my body and I just thought how nice this moment was. I was happy, I was not answering to anyone or anything that day and I felt calm and peace.
Calm and peace are two of the most important feelings I can think of that are important to have a part of your day.
I am looking at my word count now and cannot believe that I was able to write almost 700 words of thought. But, when you hear something or see something that resonates- it is important to reflect.
Reflect on the obstacles you have overcome and how you felt during them. Because as Clara Mae said, “I’m just making sure I won’t forget the moment.”
Please feel free to view my book, “Life in Katie’s Shoes,” on Amazon.
Danae Decker 